


You Are My Sunshine

by GavinMcGuinness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Castiel, M/M, Sad Dean, kind of branches off the show, some original ideas though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 04:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavinMcGuinness/pseuds/GavinMcGuinness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dayless wings crumble to ashen rain, and pure white claws tear velvet feathers to pieces. Wings shudder, and merciless wind tears them bone from bone, hair from hair. Deemed unflyable, wings will fold and wings will bend until they are swallowed by a vicious storm, until they are eaten away by flame. Until they are buried in soil unable to breathe.</p><p>Castiel could remember his birth. The pixels of light melding together so harmoniously to create his godly body. The hum of energy growing louder, and louder. He remembered it just as greatly as he feared his death. Though he was not truly scared of dying, he more was afraid of what he'd be leaving behind to rot. Dean, Sam. His family. </p><p>But Cas knew, even better than Dean, that everything had to end, and nothing could thrive on stale air forever. </p><p>With no more Heaven to cling to, Castiel must open his chest and allow fate entrance. He must grit his teeth and listen to his heart burst. </p><p>No matter how much it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot BASED off of the show, however does not follow all of the actual show's "rules". Please keep this in mind as you read, just wanted to make sure no one was confused!
> 
> Also angst warning.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Dayless wings crumble to ashen rain,_

_and pure white claws tear velvet feathers to pieces._

_Wings shudder, and merciless wind_

_tears them bone from bone, hair from hair._

_Deemed unflyable, wings will fold_

_and wings will bend until they are swallowed by a vicious storm,_

_until they are eaten away by flame._

_Until they are buried in soil unable to breathe._   


 

***********************************************************************************************

 

Castiel woke with a start, gasping for breath. A bead of cool sweat trailed down his throbbing forehead and he raised a shaky finger to wipe it away. He was grossly aware of the moist mattress pressing into his bare sweaty back. He whimpered into the darkness of his bedroom clenching the bed sheet on either side of him for support as another wave of pain racked his body. He writhed in the hot torture seemingly from within his own body. What was happening to him?

Cringing, Castiel managed to shimmy off Dean's numb arm from where it lay across his chest and slide out from where he had been half buried beneath the sleeping man. He placed his bare feet on the chilled wood floor and began to stand, only to find his knees were shaking like faulty support beams, and his thighs ached as though he had been beaten.

He inhaled roughly before forcing his body upwards and out of bed.

He stood for a moment, cool air from the venting system nearby comforting his flaming skin, until suddenly he collapsed. His legs burned with the task of standing, and exploded beneath him. Castiel landed in a grotesque heap beside his bedside table and screamed as pain engulfed his corpse.

It consumed him, greedily lapping at his skin, and clawing it's way up his spine. It feasted on his heart and prodded his sore mind, laughing maniacally in his ear.

Castiel's spine arched as he tossed about on the ground screaming into his clenched jaw. He flung his arms and legs about as they lit up in what felt like invisible fire. One of his bare legs slammed into his bedside table, bringing a reading lamp crashing down beside him.

The impact shattered the bulb cradled inside the shade, and glass spewed across the floor, like water leaking from a broken barrel.

Some stray pieces found their way to Castiel, digging into his skin like a pack of hungry leaches. Droplets of crimson blood trailed along the shards of glass penetrating his body and Castiel screamed, opening his mouth just wide enough this time for an actual sound to escape. It was empty though, emotionless. If a passerby had heard it in a dark alleyway they wouldn't have even flinched. It didn't sound pain filled, or happy. It didn't sound like anything.

This scream, sounded like it was dying. And it was too late to be saved.

Dean lurched forward in bed, his skimpily dressed body outlined by the partially transparent blinds behind him.

"Cas," He mumbled rubbing sleep from his eyes and squinting down at the empty space beside him. When he found nothing but warm sheets he felt solid panic begin to rise in his throat like bile, "Cas?!" He screeched a little more urgently as he threw the covers from his bare body.

He could hear the subtle sounds of something moving about on the floor, just out of his line of sight. He creeped forward, carefully placing one foot before the next as he rounded the bed post.

Dean froze in his tracks when his blinded eyes landed on a bleeding, seizing Cas.

"Cas!" Dean slammed to his knees beside his lover, ignoring the prickle of glass on his exposed skin.

Cas' white boxers had been tinged pink with the bits of blood he shed. However, this isn't what Dean's focus was on.

It was Cas' eyes. Anything that had been there before had been removed; pupil, iris, everything. They were replaced with an orb of white light, two of them, glowing in place of his eyeballs.

A cascade of moans hurled themselves at the sealed opening to his mouth but he held them back.

Dean's breath became unsteady and rich with fear.

"Cas, just," Dean gasped for air, "Just try and tell me what's wrong!"

Cas suddenly dropped his jaw, his eyes glowing brighter and brighter, their light seeping out of his mouth as well. Dean looked away holding back his screech of horror and confusion.

The light could be seen flashing in the windows, even from the exterior of the home. Castiel and Dean were lucky no one was out for a midnight stroll.

The white flash faded until the room was plunged back into eery darkness, the only milky light originating from the crack under the bedroom door, and the thin window shades.

Dean raised his head cautiously to find Cas kneeling on the floor just in front of him, like a mirror image. But a broken image.

Cas' eyes had returned to their usual ice blue state, but seemed duller than usual, and the way he slumped suggested he was all but dead. A modest stream of blood trickled from one nostril, and fell in small droplets to the floor. Each drop made a soft snap as they hit the ground, the sound coming at a steady interval breaking the silence that had poisoned the air.

"Dean?" Cas whispered starring down at his own shaky hands. He slowly allowed his eyes to break free from their trance and drift upward to make contact with Dean's. "I've seen it," He whimpered his eyes beginning to well up with tears.

Very rarely did Castiel kneel to the display of human emotion, but his heart felt as though it were collapsing inside of his chest and at any given moment could bring the rest of him with it. He was so close to simply opening up into a black hole.

"Cas!" Dean yelled in Cas' face and only then did the angel realize he must have been trying to get his attention for a while now.

"What? Sorry," Cas apologized between sniffles.

"Cas," Dean murmured, his harsh voice softening. He grasped one of Castiel's trembling hands in his own and placed it on his lap, "What did you see?"

Dean's eyes were full of concern, his brow furrowed in worry. Cas sighed and decided he deserved to know.

"Dean, I've seen why this is happening to me," Cas paused his lip bottom trembling and his eyes shining with tears, "Why I'm dying,"

Dean's face was consumed by a blankness. A blankness often observed on the faces of those who were declared insane, or unsafe. It was a wall, a facade to hide the true horror he was experiencing.

He starred at Cas' pained face before speaking in a flat stern tone, "You are _not_ dying Castiel,"

It was one of the only times Cas had ever heard Dean use his full name and he wasn't sure if he should be afraid of it or touched by it.

"Dean-"

"Get up, come on," Dean held Cas by the elbows and helped him to his feet doing his best to ignore Cas' grunts of subsiding pain as he rose.

"Dean, I know you're afraid but it was bound to happen! I've been detached from Heaven far too long. I was lucky to make it this far, don't you understand. It's as though I'm... Unplugged. My battery is running out, I think that's how you or Sam would put it. I'm shedding my angel wings. My time has come, and now it is going and that's ok. That's the way it is for everyone, everything. And Dean I just-"

"Shut up," Cas stopped abruptly, surprised by the sour punch in Dean's voice as he cut him off. Only now did he notice the single tear crawling down Dean's face, leaving a shining trail in it's wake, "You're not dying, Cas. You can't die. You're an angel I thought you,"

Dean paused his voice cracking and becoming weak as he tried his best to keep his seems from separating, "I thought you lived forever. I thought you were gonna watch me get old and cranky, even crankier than I am now. I thought you'd help me die and show me how to get to my heaven. I thought we'd get to sleep in on Saturdays together and have back seat Impala sex, man! I thought I'd have time to show you how to drive and sing, like at Joe's on karaoke night. I thought,"

Dean was silenced by a sob that forced his shoulders to shudder. His gleaming eyes begged Cas to stay, begged him to live. And oh, how Castiel wished he could.

Cas reached for Dean's hands and held one in each of his trying his best to put on a brave face and mask his own terror and sadness with an off balance smile.

He knew no one wanted him to talk right now, so instead he guided Dean's clumsy hands to his waist and wrapped his own around Dean's thick neck.

Cas' smile quivered threatening to break but he bit his tongue forcing the sobs back down his throat. "Dean," He whispered clearing his throat. His voice sounded suddenly foreign, even to him, in the horrible silence of the grey room. "We have time for you to teach me how to do one thing that's always interested me in the human life style. And from what I hear, you aren't half bad at it,"

Dean's broken face twisted into a weak grin, "Oh yeah? What's that, Cas?"

Cas pulled his Dean's warm body as close as he could get it so that chest was pressed to chest, and Cas could lean his cheek on Dean's shoulder. When he was sure Dean couldn't see him Cas let a few solitary tears sneak their way down his face. "Dean," He whispered. Despite his best efforts his voice shook with sadness, "Teach me to dance,"

Dean huffed with half-hearted laughter, but Cas could feel him slowly nod his head in agreement, "Alright, sweetheart,"

Cas' weak smile snaked it's way onto his aching face once more. "Thank you,"

Dean began to slowly rotate the two of them, rhythmically swaying. Cas decided this kind of dance was really more of a romantic waddle, but that's what he loved about it. It was so simple, yet meant so much. He had always wanted to try it, but had never had a partner... That is, until now. And Dean was the perfect one.

A car drove by outside, it's roaring engine a dull hum muted by their home's walls. It's headlights illuminated the bedroom for a moment, the block of orange light sweeping across the room in a distorted rectangle tied to the window.

Cas closed his eyes and allowed the sigh of the night street and the steady rise and fall of Dean's chest to numb his buzzing mind. Even if it was just for a little while.

Dean's chest vibrated soothingly as he began to hum. But not to his usual classic rock, it was more of a lullaby, but of course Cas didn't recognize it.

The walls surrounding them suddenly seemed less terrifying as they clung to each other. Cas dug his nails into Dean's bare back enjoying the tingle of skin on skin, the warmth that swept from one body to the next. Soon all of this wood be gone.

The skin on Cas' cheeks was brittle and stiff thanks to the recent parade of salty tears but he dismissed the discomfort of smiling.

"AH!" Castiel stumbled backward, breaking their dance and silencing Dean's song.

"Cas?" Dean's voice was a clear window to the panic suffocating him from the inside out.

It felt as though a hot iron rod was being pressed to Castiel's spine and he screeched in agony. "Dean! Please!" He cried, his voice trembling with hysterics.

Dean's eyes bounced back and forth unsure of what to do next when all of a sudden the throbbing heat resided from Cas' body and he relaxed once more, left panting and breathless.

"What... What does it feel like?" Asked Dean.

Cas' posture had deteriorated, and he slumped slightly his breathing coming in jagged waves.

"None of that matters, Dean. You'll never have to know. You were given the gift of humanity. You're pure," He slowly lifted his gaze to Dean's, "Never let go of that... Your pureness,"

Cas' eyes widened at the sudden prickling sensation spreading upwards along his back.

"Dean something's-" Cas never got to finish.

He could feel the skin along his shoulders ripping open, shredding itself into pieces. The familiar stickiness of warm blood poured down the hollows of Cas' back before falling to the floor below him, gathering around his naked feet.

Dean watched in horror, too afraid to even cry or scream, as Cas' back seemed to rip itself open. A fog had settled over Dean's mind as it all became too much. This fog clouded the reality that Dean just couldn't afford to process, leaving him standing and starring still as a stone.

Suddenly, Dean noticed something amongst the blood that seemed too thick to belong to the sickening fluid. The more he examined the lump in the puddle the more he began to recognize it. A feather. A black feather, drenched and weighed down in dark gooey blood, lay bonded to the wooden floorboards.

Dean's eyes skimmed upward to inspect Cas' mess of a back. Through the fragments of skin, he could make out several more feathers, stuck to Cas' back or drifting downward, glinting in the pale moonlight as they turned.

He locked his eyes to Cas' as he whimpered and cried.

"It's ok Cas," Dean whispered, half trying to convince Castiel and half himself, "It's all going to be ok,"

Cas gasped for air, arching his back and turning his arms at awkward angles in front of his body. Dean cringed.

The angel threw his head back in a silent cry for mercy as two large wings exploded from his small body, spraying a plume of night black feathers into the air around him.

He gasped, spluttering for air as though he had only just been rescued from drowning in a raging sea.

Cas turned slowly, and looked to Dean with eyes as round as tea saucers. However, Dean found he could do nothing but stare awestruck at Castiel's newborn wings. They were mesmerizing, their ten foot wingspan enough to consume another person. They arched sharply, and merged so perfectly with Cas' body, even considering the blood matting their feathery coat. 

Cas once again grasped one of Dean's hands in each of his.

"Cas," Whispered Dean, "Are you sure you have to go?"

Cas smiled knowingly, another tear escaping his blue eyes, "I wish I could stop it, Dean. I truly do. But you must know as well as anyone, everything has to end,"

Dean nodded slowly ignoring the steady cascade of tears rolling down his cheeks.

He stepped forward closing the remaining space between them and leaned down to meet Cas' lips in a kiss. It was one of the most gentle kisses the two had ever shared. Dean let it last, savoring the taste of Castiel's soft lips and feel of his small lovable body. They broke apart and Dean bumped his forehead to Cas', closing his eyes and he knew Cas would do the same.

The two stood like this only for a moment, but it felt like a century to Dean and he was glad.

Cas stepped back, his footsteps softly echoing off of the bare room walls, but he kept their hands firmly linked together. Dean was his anchor, and he was about to go to sea. He couldn't be held down any longer. He knew he had to cut the rope, he had accepted that.

Castiel's wings began to dissolve, as though a brisk wind were blowing in his direction however not effecting Dean in the least. Cas could feel his body, cell by cell, begin to loosen like dust in a summer breeze. The air ate away his body starting at the tips of his wings and working it's way to his front. Soon he would be nothing more but sand dirfting through the air.

"Cas," Dean smiled faintly but there was no hiding his sickening malade, "I love you,"

The last few words came out soft and almost broken but Cas, even as he ever so slowly died could still feel his heart warm at that phrase. I love you.

"No Dean," Castiel replied, "You've done more than love me. You've made me feel human,"

Cas smiled one last time, before the last of him deteriorated and was nothing more than dust scattered by the non existent vacuum.

Dean stood silent for a moment as Cas drifted to sea. He left his arms extended and clenched his fists around the empty spaces Castiel's fingers had left in his hands.

He focused on the empty space in his chest where a piece of his heart once was. Castiel had taken it with him as a token, a sign of life, and a key to the door of death.

Minutes of gut wrenching nothing passed until the still air was once more brought to life by the sound of Dean's lost voice humming. He hummed the same song he had for Cas as they danced, though Cas wouldn't have recognized it or known any of the words, Dean did. His hum broke into a terrible whimper of a song.

Cas could hear Dean's voice over the waves of his ocean, no matter how loud they roared, as he sang.

 

_"You are my sunshine,_

_My only sunshine._

_You make me happy when skies are grey,_

_and have I told you,_

_How much I love you,"_

 

Dean paused, a final burning tear sinking down his face.

 

_"Please don't take, my sunshine away,"_

 

 


End file.
